Are You and Chilli’s Standards Too High?


Everybody knows her. The beautiful successful lonely single girl. Even if she’s over 35 she still could pass for her 20’s. Her personality is infectous, and her smile illuminates the room. “She’s got it together”, so logically its a mystery why someone with a perfect smile and great body has not yet come along on their white horse and galloped away with her into forever.  Like why is she stiiiiilll single?

As often as you asked this question thinking about this particular woman, she’s asked it a million more times to herself.  Some of them as little girls  dreamed to be wives and brides. These were the girls on the playground that already knew exactly how many children they were set to have AND had already picked their names out.  Some were career minded from the get-go and woke up one day wondering were time went.  This woman thought she’d be married by 27 or so because she’d be done with school and got that great job, paid off her loans because weddings are soo expensive, but she looks great because her Yoga classes banished her freshman years ago and she’s so successful and she works with so many available men but they are overweight and she hardly has time because she is soooo terribly busy. Maybe Mr. Right wronged her and left her for the babysitter or went creepin with the deacon.  Or it could have been the day she worked out to I Kissed a Girl reminding her of all the fun she had at slumber parties and late night study sessions with the sorrors..when was the last time you saw her with a guy anyway??? Whatever the reason she’s still not married and doesn’t even have a boyfriend. In a world of six billion people everyone should surely have a match hidden in there somewhere, right? You shouldn’t be doomed to a life of Lifetime Movies living the reality version of Waiting to Exhale?! Despite who she was and who she is today she can not help but to feel inadequate because of her lack of a soul mate connection in her life. This woman is a goal reacher, and eventually being a “couple” is a goal every Queen NEEDS to mark off her list. Humans are a pack oriented species, so we are naturally drawn to desire the presence and company of others. Women are biologically wired to respond to and require intimacy, attention, and affection. Combing all these factors is what the future old lady with a bunch of pets as companions single woman deals with every day she looks in the mirror.  But she will NOT compromise her standards.

This old maid woman has always expected the best from herself. It’s very unreasonable to expect this woman require less from her mate. No Queen ever asks of something she doesn’t demand from herself.  She doesn’t have the time to help anybody to the path of their dreams because she’s already cultivated hers. Considering the dynamics of the traditional household it would be unfair to expect Ms. All D. Good-BatteriesareintheVibrator the single woman to welcome the role of provider with open arms. Although she has considered this possibility, her pride will not allow her to accept this option because she refuses to downgrade. Her car was better than the previous one, so why shouldn’t her next man be better than the one that came before him?

Queens in all stages of life are in a subconscious constant state of beautiful progression. This is what drives us our optimism, and also allows us the freedom to fantasize about our desires. We love to dream about what we are going to have, but rarely what we are willing to do to get it. A woman with alot of time on her hands can conjure up all kinds of fanatical ideas in her head that she confuses as one hell of a wish list (she calls standards) that her future mate must posses in order to have her heart. These women know their standards like it was her favorite song. She recites them over and over hoping somebody out there can match up to the lyrics, quick to cut anybody that comes short of her strict guidelines. This Queen rules with the Rule of Rule which begins to act more like a good spam blocker rather than an idea. Is it that there is no one out there that matches her desires or is she so afraid of being hurt again that her impossible standards and single hood are a manifestation of her OWN fears of failure? Is it really that every suitor doesn’t make enough money, is fat, has too many kids, has a raggedy ride, didn’t get enough education, lives with his parents, or doesn’t have enough “swagger’? Or are these qualities the desperado’s single girl’s deepest fears and insecurities for herself?


About queen4today

This is the story and observations of many Queens through the eyes of One. This isn't about overindulgence, it's about a desire for excellence. The best in life, and harmony in her home. Any woman that realizes her worth, potential, and promise at one time or another is a Queen. Life however, can be her beast, and although she may not always make the right choice, she survives, living it up every chance she gets.. :)

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