Monthly Archives: April 2010

Face the Nation

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Christie Brinkley keeps getting older, but she keeps looking younger!!

Get OVER IT Already!!!

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Usher and Grace, 2010

In August of 2007, a professional stylist named Tameka Foster became Mrs. Usher Raymond. As the whole world stood in shock and dismay, her and her husband had babies, flew around the world, and defended their relationship to anyone that would listen. As fate would have it, the marriage would be short lived and the divorce was filed by Usher in June of 2009. The funny thing about that is, its April of 2010, and Tameka acts as if she didn’t get the papers from her lawyers.

The act of marriage is a sacred and beautiful thing, as is the decision of forsaking all others for the promise and exclusivity of being with one person. Married or not, we feel the bonds of a relationship should hold strong forever, sometimes even after we fall out of love with that person. The comforts and familiarity that grows between two people can be mistaken for everlasting, eternal love. While you can still love your ex, and many people can become friends with their ex after the conclusion of a relationship, running around crying, begging, and (cyber)stalking for the one to come home is utterly pathetic and ridiculous. Wasting your life and time wishing on a star that your lover will come back to you is just an excuse for you not to move on with your life. Your mate may have been very special, but there are indeed other fish in the sea. No one feels sympathy for you, they laugh at your desperation. Publicly insulting or even feeding into the energy of what your ex is now doing shows how needy and unstable you are inside of yourself. What this person is doing with their life is now no longer your concern, and honestly you should be happy about it. Tameka Raymond should be running the streets of Rodeo Drive and the Soho District screaming with joy from the rooftops of her newfound freedom from a gigantic cougar lovin ego such as Usher’s. Instead she’s on Twitter, bitching and begging for his attention.

In the midst of her relationship, Tameka forgot who she was. She forgot the professional stylist that made her own way to the top of her business. She has watered herself down to a bitter and angry ex that can’t keep her mouth shut about her “old thang”. Her snipes at Usher for essentially doing what a divorced person does just shows how much she wants that “old thang back”.  No one is made of stone, and it is understandable how if she could wonder at night to herself if he thinks about her, or what he’s doing throughout the day at times. But to let a relationship to be the defining point of your life is obsessive and counterproductive to any other goals you could achieve or new dates you could have. Nothing runs away a new suitor like a person that’s obviously not over their ex. This person lives their life suspended in time while the clock keeps on ticking. The rejection and the anger that follows are normal emotions, but to wallow in those feelings is anything but. Tameka, do yourself (and all of us with Twitter accounts and internet access) a favor and GET OVER IT.

Money and love can be replaced, but time cannot. Time is irreversible and never slows down so each moment spent should be treasured as if it may be the last. Hearts break, but we all are big girls that can get over it- IF we chose to walk away from anger and living in the past. Your ex is an ex for a GOOD reason, and if you want this person back, they should have to prove to you they are worthy to have you in your present life. Wearing your heart and soul on your sleeve and on Twitter is fuel for fodder for jealous women, your ex’s new woman, and your ex’s ego. Do you really want somebody that feels like they can discard you like a used condom and then just come back to you because you feel comfortable and familiar to them? Are you so delusional that you believe there is only one person on God’s Earth of six billion that can make you happy? Is it so terrible that your ex has accepted the end of your relationship and moved on? Get a grip Tameka!! PLEASE!! You know your truth, you know what happened between the two of you, compartmentalize that somewhere in your heart and LIVE YOUR LIFE. Desperado.

No Struggle, No Progress…

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….Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose….

                                                                      HELEN KELLER

 

Getting the new house. Finally paying off that old credit card. The last 10 pounds. No matter what we achieve there is nothing we do that does not require effort, hard work, and sacrifice. Wishful thoughts that do not morph into action collect dust in the back of your head and become regrets, and believing the thing that is most meant to be should come easy to you is as foolish as the kid that used to copy off of her neighbor’s paper when the teacher told the class each test is different. Your plight- the highs and lows is uniquely yours, but the journey is one many can draw inspiration and vision from, it encourages illumination even in the darkest of dark.

Talent and intelligence may be natural abilities, but persistence and follow thru are learned abilities driven by will alone. Although Helen Keller was blind and deaf, she willed herself into an activist and author by never giving up on what she believe she deserved to have. It would have been too easy for her to ask to be shipped off to some institution because learning was too hard and facing challenges could have possibly upset her. Confusion and frustration must be seen as eventual emotions everyone with a goal in their heart must experience some time or another while en route to the promised land. They are the big sisters to the twins fear and doubt that always seem to pop in the midst of the cultivation of our dreams. Confusion and frustration often stunt and slow growth so they must not take root where the seeds of your ambitions are planted. These emotions should be taken as a sign of realignment and clarification of your goal, not the ice that puts the freeze on your objective’s harvest.

You will have to work day and night. You will work thru physical and emotional pain. You will miss out on pleasurable activity. If not, where would the sacrifice be? What will you be surrendering or destroying in order to attain something greater? Many women will not sacrifice in fear of losing what they already have. It is very common to become attached to a job, or a certain lifestyle that the uncertainty of success will seem like some sort of delusion versus being a reachable, attainable manifestation of your soul’s mission. The lazy are allergic to elbow grease, blood, sweat and tears, the fearful are stunted by comforts. Being stagnant and accepting the mundane as life is the difference between successful and unsuccessful people. The power of change is inside all of us, but you must not be afraid of your own strength. It is unacceptably selfish not to do what your heart desires because your purpose inevitably inspires others to draw motivation to do the same.

Pain and struggle are the opposites of joy and abundance but this just means they are complimentary to the completion of the greater whole. Pain and struggle are the balance to success and is the work out that each dream and aspiration must excercise to become strong. Your will must be sharp enough to push you when you are winded. Your vision must be wide enough that you must always be able to see it, no matter what clouds around you. Be proud of what you have accomplished and let that drive you to your next goal. Don’t be afraid of the hard work, be afraid of the inertia.  You are worthy of the absolute best you can give you.  But don’t think you are exempt of paying the cost to be the Boss.

 

Armed + Dangerous

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One of the most perplexing things to experience is greatness. Walking the path of becoming what you were destined to be versus what is dictated to you is a feat no short of awesome. The belief and time you invested into yourself is beginning to pay off, as the results of your hard work have truly blessed your life. You can swipe your debit card without the slightest hint of trepidation, your new spa regimen is just what the doctor ordered, and now that your eating better- you’re actually looking even younger. So why is everybody so mad at you?

Initially, people will express happiness over your newfound purpose. They will come to you with questions and ask of your advice. Be mindful of your words and your tone because passion and success can harvest jealousy and resentment within less secure people. They hear you list your goals and how each one was knocked like you were the 80’s Iron Mike. This can bolster feelings of inadequacies within someone who is not proactive about the direction of their own life. Your greatness shrinks this person. Of course it’s not your intention, but this person believes you are deliberately trying to make them feel bad about the trapped position they’ve allowed themselves to be boxed in. Your excitement is distorted into bragging, your confidence is confused with conceit. They deflect these feelings onto you to prevent looking in the mirror and confronting the person that’s holding them back from their own greatness.

Don’t feel the slightest discomfort about the whispers and head turns that seem to occur when you walk into a room. People will talk about you whether you are successful or not. Gossip is very much a passive person’s favorite pastime. If you imagine life like a football arena, these people are in the bleachers- yelling at the quarterbacks and receivers, saying what they should have done or could have done better, yet they aren’t even in the game at all. Although they may claim to hate everything they think you stand for- status, distinction, and prominence, they are living vicariously through you. Allowing these idle minded people to dull your shine is like letting the drunk fat guy that’s seen a few games be the coach. Never let these simpletons control how you feel about yourself or what you are/are not going to do. Gossiper’s opinions never should be taken seriously, because once again you are being talked about so that this person can deflect attention off their own shortcomings and perceived failures. They don’t understand that first you have to try before you can even fail because their personal fear is greater than the passion they have to achieve success. Your drive to accomplish your goals is chalked up to luck, and they have no understanding of the blood, sweat, and tears you’ve input to get where you are. The words of the idle minded can hurt as each whisper and nod over to you can feel like a bullet thru the heart, which is why we must be armed with an invisible suit of strength, grace, and nonchalance when dealing with these people.

Become discerning over who you choose to share your success with. Not everyone wants to hear your tips or insight, because not everyone is happy for you. Not everyone desires to be great at something, some people just exist. There is an air of comfort in being mediocre and handling the heavy responsibility of excellence can’t be placed in the hands of the weak. Therefore you must tune out these people in order to maintain proper focus because you can never please them, nor should you ever aspire to. Live your life for you the best way you see fit, and smile at the cheerleaders that applaud you. Forget the ones that boo and hiss you, and erase the ones that nitpick and scrutinize you. Arm yourself with the shield of dignity, the sword of self assuredness, and the big guns of always looking your best- your artillery will stand up against any enemy fire or false flag operations.

… (They) fear what they don’t understand, hate what they can’t conquer
Guess it’s just the fury of man
Became a monster, on top of the world, never fallin….

Hate Me Now- Nas

 

Cheers to Seth, Project Runway Cycle 7 Winner

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Seth rocked the runway last night on Project Runway. His designs are sophisticated and couture, and very wearable for big city fashion.

Way to “Make it Work”!!

Party-Party-Party, Let’s all get WASTED!!!?

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hell, at least she isn't driving...

..Before I leave I brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

when I leave for the evening, I ain’t coming back…

Tick Tock-Ke$ha

Who doesn’t love a great party, getting dressed to the nines to look like a dime, rolling with the homies and dancing up on hotness all night? There is a certain freedom in losing yourself in music and substances that serve as temporary retreat from life’s responsibilities and obligations. Personally, I believe in a Mimosa for brunch and wine for a night cap- even without the party element. Yet the trend of more and more women being totally shitfaced in public and doing things that they would find heinous being sober is becoming so socially acceptable it contradicts the idea of liberation intoxication fosters in the first place.

Girls just wanna have fun. Boys want to waaay more than you. The abundance of sloshed sexy girls stumbling around inside and outside of clubs and lounges are like a naive dupable congregation to money hungry, snake oil salesman pastors. They can see your impairment and sense your neediness and are more than willing to provide for you the good word (which sounds really good after those $5 martini specials, Red Bull and vodkas,  and rounds of Patron shots) you require to make sure you have a sanctuary. They want to take you for everything they can get from you. The only difference is the shady pastor will want to see you next Sunday, while the horny boys don’t even want you to spend the whole night. While drunk sex can be kinda hot, being blitzed and waking up in a total blur is not. It’s fun when Britney sings about it, but when you roll over and and say “damnit..!!” to yourself you begin to realize how much of your power you gave up for nothing. Cross your fingers between the two of you horndogs somebody thought of the Trojan Man and you remember the sex and it was good.

Many of us, many, many, many of us have operated a motor vehicle waay to loaded to drive, though publicly we are all so openly appalled by drunk driving. Most of us thank heavens didn’t crash the whip and made it back home, while some of us don’t end up so lucky. Truly, anybody can end up pulled over on the side of the road Heather Locklear style answering to the po po. Alot of the same people that trashed Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay know people or have themselves had run ins with police and curbs and have faced sometime legal consequences for being trashed behind the wheel. Call ridicule, criticisim, court dates, suspended licences, insurance deductibles, fines,  jail time, and background checks a slap on the wrist if you wanna. I call it a serious pain in the ass that shackles you down when all you were trying to do was have a good time. Trust and believe, you don’t want to deal with lady justice, she’s a badder bitch than you are.

Moderation is key, don’t be the sloppy drunk your friends hope don’t puke on their Jimmy Choos. They don’t want to have to monitor bombed out your mind dry humping dance moves and flirtations. Stumbling and passing out is embarrassing. Extreme intoxication is unbecoming behavior that wrecks havoc on your image and its consequences can disrupt you from fully enjoying life. Getting this wasted publicly is never more important that doing what you truly want to do, which you can’t possibly be doing if you allow your judgment to be this clouded. Getting this smashed can open up a can of worms that might not go back in the jar so easy. Your skin and liver will also thank you later if you abstain from these binge nights, but if you can’t help but get plastered- consider hosting house parties with invited guests you trust. The less control you place in other people’s hands the better. Discipline is a matter of active consciousness. Set a limit for yourself at the bar so life won’t set its limits on you.