Get OVER IT Already!!!

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Usher and Grace, 2010

In August of 2007, a professional stylist named Tameka Foster became Mrs. Usher Raymond. As the whole world stood in shock and dismay, her and her husband had babies, flew around the world, and defended their relationship to anyone that would listen. As fate would have it, the marriage would be short lived and the divorce was filed by Usher in June of 2009. The funny thing about that is, its April of 2010, and Tameka acts as if she didn’t get the papers from her lawyers.

The act of marriage is a sacred and beautiful thing, as is the decision of forsaking all others for the promise and exclusivity of being with one person. Married or not, we feel the bonds of a relationship should hold strong forever, sometimes even after we fall out of love with that person. The comforts and familiarity that grows between two people can be mistaken for everlasting, eternal love. While you can still love your ex, and many people can become friends with their ex after the conclusion of a relationship, running around crying, begging, and (cyber)stalking for the one to come home is utterly pathetic and ridiculous. Wasting your life and time wishing on a star that your lover will come back to you is just an excuse for you not to move on with your life. Your mate may have been very special, but there are indeed other fish in the sea. No one feels sympathy for you, they laugh at your desperation. Publicly insulting or even feeding into the energy of what your ex is now doing shows how needy and unstable you are inside of yourself. What this person is doing with their life is now no longer your concern, and honestly you should be happy about it. Tameka Raymond should be running the streets of Rodeo Drive and the Soho District screaming with joy from the rooftops of her newfound freedom from a gigantic cougar lovin ego such as Usher’s. Instead she’s on Twitter, bitching and begging for his attention.

In the midst of her relationship, Tameka forgot who she was. She forgot the professional stylist that made her own way to the top of her business. She has watered herself down to a bitter and angry ex that can’t keep her mouth shut about her “old thang”. Her snipes at Usher for essentially doing what a divorced person does just shows how much she wants that “old thang back”.  No one is made of stone, and it is understandable how if she could wonder at night to herself if he thinks about her, or what he’s doing throughout the day at times. But to let a relationship to be the defining point of your life is obsessive and counterproductive to any other goals you could achieve or new dates you could have. Nothing runs away a new suitor like a person that’s obviously not over their ex. This person lives their life suspended in time while the clock keeps on ticking. The rejection and the anger that follows are normal emotions, but to wallow in those feelings is anything but. Tameka, do yourself (and all of us with Twitter accounts and internet access) a favor and GET OVER IT.

Money and love can be replaced, but time cannot. Time is irreversible and never slows down so each moment spent should be treasured as if it may be the last. Hearts break, but we all are big girls that can get over it- IF we chose to walk away from anger and living in the past. Your ex is an ex for a GOOD reason, and if you want this person back, they should have to prove to you they are worthy to have you in your present life. Wearing your heart and soul on your sleeve and on Twitter is fuel for fodder for jealous women, your ex’s new woman, and your ex’s ego. Do you really want somebody that feels like they can discard you like a used condom and then just come back to you because you feel comfortable and familiar to them? Are you so delusional that you believe there is only one person on God’s Earth of six billion that can make you happy? Is it so terrible that your ex has accepted the end of your relationship and moved on? Get a grip Tameka!! PLEASE!! You know your truth, you know what happened between the two of you, compartmentalize that somewhere in your heart and LIVE YOUR LIFE. Desperado.

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