Federlined- An Inconvenient Truth

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WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT-

When you are out with him and if you are reaching down in your purse more than he is reaching to open your door and pull out your chair,

If random women are calling and texting him all times of the day and night and calling and texting you at all times of the day and night,

When you two are together you have the nagging thought “Dude, where’s your kid(s)?” at the back of your mind,

If he has more “swagger” than money and he is over the age of 21,

If what’s his is his and what’s yours is yall’s,

tsk, tsk, tsk, YOU ARE BEING FEDERLINED!!

Thanks to Kanye West, female gold diggers even have a #1 Billboard ode dedicated to their scheming, conniving, sexual napalm ways. Female gold diggers are hated and despised not only by men, but by hard working, good women as well. While the percentages of eligible men decrease, some women have gone cougaring, and then there are some that have taken to the streets for swagger and excitement and end up with more than they could ever vision in their worst nightmares.

Inconveniently, your choice of mate has cause and effect on the outcome of your life. I wonder what Dorothy Dandrige, Marilyn Monroe, and Anna Nicole Smith would have to say about this subject. If Britney Spears hadn’t went crazy, we may have been able to hear from her, but all we need to do is peek into her life. Maybe not the best singer in the world, Brit was beautiful, fierce, kick ass, and could dance anybody next to her off the stage. Sick of the same ol’ same ol’ and boring boys she went for a super sexy back up dancer with more baggage than Cruella Deville boarding a flight from Aspen during a fur blow out clearance. However love she had for him was so strong, Brit abandoned common sense and followed her heart- financing a pimped out lifestyle for a male gold digger that finally struck platinum. Kevin knocked Britney up back to back while he partied all night, driving around in a Federrari, spending big chips in Vegas, sleeping with strippers- as she sat home getting fat and going crazy left to wonder where in the world he was and being a new mom to two young boys. We all know where the story goes from here.

You don’t have to get locked up by a shrink on a 51/50 to lose yourself (or your shirt) in a relationship. Your mate is there to compliment you, not to complete you and vice versa. Your mate should be actively working towards goals in life, not floating from woman to woman for salvation. There isn’t anything wrong with making more money than your mate, but when your mate uses his penis like an debit/ATM card, and you my dear are the ATM machine, you have a problem on your hands. Oh, and please don’t think that debit card isn’t getting slung all over the city when your not around. Federlines are swagger champions, they are super sexy and know exactly how to appeal to a woman such as yourself. They are also master love makers (this is why so many of them have so many children), that use the invisible bonds your female body is transmitting to their advantage by mentally, by way of sexually, training you into submission. By the time you’ve woken from your dick coma he’s ransacked your Fendi bag and is out riding around in your whip looking for more good times.

Getting rid of a Federline is like getting rid of a Ouija board. You will become addicted to his sex and his time, and your Federline will become addicted to the new lifestyle you have stupidly introduced him to. No one wants to go from filet mignon back to ramen noodles. Once you finally realize you’ve been shaken down by the Federrali he will fight you tooth and nail to make sure he doesn’t lose his meal ticket.

Some men will try to get you pregnant on purpose as a trap method. Funny people think only women do this. There are many a men that will poke holes in condoms and sabotage birth control methods. REALLY. Stay vigilant in practicing safe sex methods with Federlines, its not always by accident so many of them are so fertile.

He will make you believe that HE is the best you can get. When in all actuality YOU may be the best HE can get. His confidence is now thru the roof since he’s pulled you, he thinks he can get five more yous. That of course, can take some time. In the meantime, he will sex you up like Dirk Diggler on ecstacy, and keenly tap into the senses (good and bad) that make you tick. He will play on your vulnerabilities and fears and exploit them to keep you close. Federlines are master manipulators and will leave no stone unturned.

SWAGGER is your frienemy. He is as keenly aware of his sexiness as a Playboy centerfold is, and conscious of his cool as a guy that gets to play James Bond. He knows that too many guys are boring and safe and his bad boy charms are in high demand. Yes he is hot, but remember you are playing with fire.

For every LisaRaye, there’s a Britney. In fact in certain segments of the population, women are leading the household and taking care of men financially in unprecedented numbers. We are all for feminism and advocating your choice on whoever it is you choose to make your partner. But around here, a spade is a spade, and a Federline is a male version of a gold digger. The key is discernment. Nine times out of ten your friends and fam don’t hate this joker for no reason. Find out if you are a partner in his life or pawn in his grande ponzi scheme sooner than later.

 

Britney Before....

 

Britney After.... Yikes!!!

 
 

 
 
 

 

 

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