Pissing in the Dating Pool Part 1

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The heat of summer and the pool go together like peanut butter and jelly. Playing in the water is always fun and games, until that ONE person goes and ruins everybody’s good time by pissing in the pool and sending everyone running to the beach chairs. As kids we are taught that pissing in the pool is not only totally gross, but a complete embarrassment for the pisser and the pissees. So why as adults do we think its okay to piss in the dating pool by fraternizing with losers, sponsoring Federlines, and letting egomanics roam our hearts unchecked? Women always blame guys for their piss poor attitudes about dating and relationships, but do we ever look in the mirror to examine what we condone in our love affairs?

In our desperation search for worthy mates, we often respond to the aesthetically pleasing. Swagger has taken the place of good attributes we look for in our mates. So instead of an actual hard-working man, we settle choose a perceived hard worker. We look at his clothes, his car, and his tats and voila Mr. Right! We don’t find out until later he’s dodging the repo man and dons the same three outfits on rotation. This creates friction within us because we have fallen in love with our image of what he is and not who he is in actuality. We subconsciously loathe him, and even though we may try to change him, we still accept piss poor actions, lies, laziness- suffering in silence until your bff’s ear vomits from you force feeding it such bullshit. We adapt the “all men are dogs” mantra hoping to train him with sex and bribing him any way we can to keep him around, although in the back of your mind you want to scream “You ain’t shit!” slamming the door behind him. But then you’ll be alone, and we can’t have that, can we?

What we fail to realize as women is that the piss poor dating pool is not because of men. A generation of women that don’t have the cojones to challenge a man mentally, spiritually, and financially is the problem. Women are so afraid of being alone that any old dude will do, as long as he fits the swagger requirements. We’ve almost grown to admire other people’s perception of us (our material possessions, relationships, etc) more than we value ourselves. We’ve condoned cheating, lies, and Federlines because we think so little of ourselves. We will go out of our way to try to change a known loser, yet we do very little to change ourselves. We’ve diluted our natural instincts as patient nurtures into being passive pussies that will take any attention over none at all. We flirt with married men, dance with booed up guys, and make out with strangers just to hold on to that minute of attention and affection.

We turn the other cheek to domestic violence and emotional coldness everyday. Once we enter the comfort zone in relationships this “anything goes” policy is invoked that says whatever happens behind closed doors doesn’t matter as long as we appear publicly happy. Once an argument is escalated to violence (shoving, slapping, throwing, etc) lines of respect no longer exist. Instead of counseling, violence is swept under the rug with some hot sex and a cigarette. We never address with our mates the emotional triggers of violence. We give him the don’t hit me again speech and keep it movin. Even if the guy is a total tool that’s emotionally vacant we simply accept it although it tears us up on the inside. We’ve become so afraid to upset him we allow ourselves to carry the burden of all the relationship problems while he’s playing Call of Duty blasting rap records.

Is it your man’s fault that you are such a punk that you refuse to stand up for yourself? Is it his problem that you will smackabitchup for looking at him as his eyes screw every girl in the room? Is he the fool if he lies to your face and you accept it? If your best friend acted with 10% of the malice, arrogance, and selfishness this dude does she would be absolutely banished from your life forever, yet because he’s your man he has the license to ill at will. When you two finally do end your relationship (as ALL boyfriends and girlfriends either end up broken up or married) you’ve sent this piss poor excuse for a man piranha out in the dating pool to terrorize the next chick. Thanks bitches.

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About queen4today

This is the story and observations of many Queens through the eyes of One. This isn't about overindulgence, it's about a desire for excellence. The best in life, and harmony in her home. Any woman that realizes her worth, potential, and promise at one time or another is a Queen. Life however, can be her beast, and although she may not always make the right choice, she survives, living it up every chance she gets.. :)

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