Hillary Rodham Clinton and Elin Nordegren Woods : a Hypothetical Conversation

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July 7, 2010. It’s so hot in New York City you’d think you were in New Orleans having beignets on Bourbon St, but Iced Mochas from Starbucks in Central Park is the coolant from the heat. observing both women is like observing night and day. Their differences make them seem worlds apart, but they do share a story. In 1998, Hilary Rodham Clinton’s husband was impeached by the House of Representatives, but that was just the begining of Hilary’s world falling apart. A young intern, Monica Lewinski had done some sort of “sexual relations” with her husband and not only did Hilary know, the whole world knew. It took years for the media to get off her and Bill’s back because of the affair, as they fought for their marriage and raised their daughter, Chelsea. Elin Nordegren- the newest embarrassed housewife (save Sandra Bullock) dealt with a philanderer of epic proportions with the glare of the camera’s all-seeing eye watching their every move. Now that the dust has settled, these two women talk life, love with a high-profile man, and what the future holds for America’s most famous cheated on housewives.

So, I’m curious… how did you meet Bill Clinton? Where you his intern as well…?,” Elin sipped from the Starbucks cup tipping down her Chanel frames to make eye contact with Hillary.

“Well, actually we met at Yale… civil liberties class… I introduced myself to him first, I said “If you’re going to keep looking at me and I’m going to keep looking at you, we ought to at least know each other. I’m Hillary Rodham.” That was 1970. Our first date was an art gallery. Bill and I were and still are best friends… You and Tiger..??

“We met at Tiger’s job… The British Open. I was an au pair to another golfer.

“So you two had golf in common…,??”

“I was a model, he was an athlete.. it was a natural fit for the both of us,”

“What other aspirations did you have? Were you content on being a housewife?”

“My mother was a Swedish politician, my dad a journalist.. I worked a couple odd jobs at clothing stores, modeling.. then I met Mia Parnevik, her husband was a famous golfer you know…and I became her nanny,” Elin said as she thumbed around on her Blackberry. “Tiger chased me down for a year before I’d agreed to go out with him. I was the hot ticket then, the golfers adored me, but I chose Tiger the cheetah..,” Elin seemed to be more agitated than joking. “I used to want to be a child psychiatrist.. can you believe that?”

“Yes I can. I’m glad you had hopes outside of landing some rich golfer. I thought that’s what you’d say…,”

“I could have had any man I wanted to. Tiger should have felt lucky to have me, but obviously not. Why didn’t you divorce that cheating son of a bitch Bill when you had the chance? The whole world would have rallied to your side. I got a few swipes here and there, but generally the public saw Tiger for what he was. A cheating, lying, dirty dick bastard…”

“Well honey, Bill and I loved each other. We had a family. Bill came from a broken home, and we did not want our Chelsea to be raised in one…,”

“Didn’t you feel like irreparable damage had been done to your relationship? I swear you older women just take any kind of behavior out of your husbands..,”

“What he shared with a low self-esteem, attention seeking whore and what he shared with me were two different things. Bill had always looked at me like his equal. We had this ability to bring the best out of each other.. Our relationship wasn’t exclusively based on sex or money. We weren’t even like a team per se… Our bonds to each other went deeper than that. We truly loved each other and had goals for our life and our relationship together. So in that sense we were, I mean are like a team. How could I not forgive a man who I had shared the better part of my life with, achieved so much with personally and professionally, and Chelsea… our bond and our family meant a lot to both of us. We both were committed to making our relationship work- outside of what everybody else said and thought,”

“Me and Tiger were like a team….,” Elin seemed to miss Tiger, temporarily. “For the life of me I don’t understand how you could ever look at Bill the say way again.. He deserves the trash he cheated on me for. He threw away his chance at real love and happiness, and his family and for what? Strippers and sluts? I can’t go anywhere without a freakin camera in my face asking me about him. I hate him Hillary. I hate what he’s done to me and to the kids,”

“Do you think the kids know you hate him?”

“Yes!! But I won’t have to tell them the kind of sick pussy bandit their father is..the whole world will let them know. He deserves to be embarrassed and belittled, and pointed at everywhere he goes,”

“You don’t miss your marriage? You didn’t have points in your marriage when things were beautiful?”

“We had a beautiful wedding. I had a $2 million dollar wedding in Barbados.. Bill Gates and Oprah were at my wedding.. 10,000 red and black roses…,”

 

“Wow. I got married in my backyard in a Dillard’s dress,” Hillary laughed to herself.

“The point is, and always is I deserve better! I deserved better from the first time I saw him, and I always knew it. Maybe because he was who he was, I gave into him wanting me, getting married, having the children. I knew I loved him, but I didn’t always know if I was in love with him..,”

“..And I’ve always known I was in love. We always hold hands, gaze into each other’s eyes.. It’s like we started a conversation all those years ago and never stopped it.. I honestly think the hardest challenge of our relationship was Bill’s issues with his heart..,”

“He was cold and distant from you?” Elin inquired.

“No.. his health. I’ve always had faith in us and courage to do the unpopular thing when it came to him. I worry about how he eats, if he’s overdoing his workload…,”

“It’s kind of funny, you seem more like a traditional housewife than I do, and you’re Vice President,” Elin chuckled.

“Actually, I’m Secretary of State… and he is my biggest supporter. He took me losing to Barack harder than I did…it hurt him that didn’t work out for our family.. but with Chelsea’s wedding and everything going on, I’m glad that things worked out the way they did… So what are your plans now that everything is over with Elin?” Hillary looked down at her watch.

“Well I’m a part-time student, maybe I’ll go back to school, maybe I’ll back to Sweden… maybe I’ll hire a hitman..,”

“Good luck with that,” Hillary smiled.

this pseudo interview was compiled thru quotes by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Elin Nordegren Source: Wendy H. Goldberg and Betty Goodwin. Marry Me! Courtships and Proposals of Legendary Couples

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