Monthly Archives: August 2010

Laughter: Nature’s Prescription For Souls With The Sniffles


There’s a recession. There’s AIDS, single-dom, questionably wack music, no scripted TV shows, a horrible political situation in America and no end in sight for the problems that afflict us everyday. Sure there’s prayer, but the soul-stirring ache of a good belly laugh is the best medicine to check out of livin’ la vida loca and go somewhere else for a little while. When it comes to self-help, laughter is the underrated step child to meditation, yoga, religion, and ideas like The Law of Attraction. Culture makes humor almost unintelligent though some of our most richest and present moments are based on laughs. Though funny can be a debatable topic, good laughs are essential to the health of our souls.

As a child, I remember laughing with my sister until one of us almost wet ourselves. Chuckles and giggles keep us forever young in our hearts. Cracking up also actually keeps us younger by relieving stress, and 100 laughs a day equals out to fifteen minutes on an exercise bike. In reality laughing strengthens the heart, increasing the heart rate and deep breathing while giving the good ol’  flabs and face a mini work-out. The endorphins released by the brain suppress stress hormones, and relieves adult problems like anxiety, anger, and tension. Laughter is like our internal middle finger from the outside stressors in life. It’s quite unbalanced to point out the necessities of a healthy food diet without even mentioning the benefits of a healthy appetite for humor. In life, the jokes often write themselves and even in spooky times we laugh to keep from crying.

The source of where the laughs come from separates the funny from the infamy. KKKramer was ironically blacklisted from the industry a few years after a crazy racist rant during a routine, and the Bed Intruder Song makes some cringe about making light of stereotypes. On the heels of shock jock Don Imus’s nappy headed hoe debacle and the forever branded Fuzzy Zoeller fried chicken and watermelon “jokes” directed at Tiger Woods, laughter has taken an unfair hit as a desensitizing by-product of racism, sexism, and many other existing isms in our world. These moments bring issues out of the shadows and gives everybody from the water cooler, to Al Sharpton, to the Pastor something to talk about. Awareness is increased and ignorance is brought to light. It’s said that what a person laughs at reflects their character, but humor is always subjective. Two people can look at the same thing and draw different feelings about what they have collectively seen. While some instances of rogue humor are undeniably nefarious, others fall in a gray area. Pop culture, music, movies, and diversity itself has given us unprecedented access to each other and grants us a universal familiarity with one another that is more of a uniter than a divider. We laugh at each other as we laugh at ourselves, and laughter gives us the ammo to shoot out prejudices within ourselves and each other. Mark Twain has said the human’s race most important weapon is laughter. Laughter challenges us to look at ourselves and fine tune anything from race relations to a shiteous wardrobe choice.

So, with all that said, we should laugh together. NSFW Links!!


Groupie Love???


Who truly knows if pop star Nadja Benaissa was aware she was dropping off a package Fed Ex wouldn’t touch? Nadja, who sings in the girl pop band No Angels, was found guilty of spreading her pretty wings HIV to an ex boyfriend. Earlier this week, rapper Soulja Boy found himself caught up with notorious harlot Kat Stacks, known internet wide for her smashing of rappers when she videoed her visit to his hotel room and lines of the good stuff she claims he indulges in. After the image slaughter of Tiger Woods and the damage done to Jesse James’ s marriage, groupies got the fame and attention they crave, even at the highest price of their privacy and reputations. When liasons are based on celebrity status, it can truly be the end of your life as you know it.

Could You Tell This umm.. Face No??

There are nuns in monasteries that would bang David Beckham if they could, so imagine his personal assistant’s impossible task of not tootin’ it up for Becks. Rebecca Loos failed Mission Impossible admitting to an affair with Posh’s husband, taking the slut blame as David kicked around soccer balls and posed for pics with his gorgeous wife. You don’t have to eff a celeb to come to the epiphany that ain’t no future in yo’ screwin’ of a married man. Sure you can play-off yourself like Fantasia to get his attention, but very few women end up Gabby Union style with the man prize at the end of the rainbow. Accidental groupie-ism is still groupie-ism. Meeting a celeb in a place of business won’t decrease your chances of seeing the deuces once the shit hits the fan. Monica Lewinsky proudly served the President of the United States, and ended up a national punchline for years. Thank God she had her purse line instead of  Billy C’s d to fall back on. The thing that these women are most confused by is the “special” feeling they get from receiving high-profile tail attention. Just because he’s paying attention and nut busts to you doesn’t mean that you’re his only bust down option. Ask all the single ladies that were backin’ it up for Tiger. Lucky strategic smashers get money out of the deal in the end, but is money worth the pointing and stares that national sinfamy brings? Is it worth compromising what you’ve worked to become in your life?

A bad rep is small potatoes compared to AIDS and beatdowns that groupie-dom brings to life. After selling 5 million records with No Angels, Nadja Benaissa proved her band name correct. Instead of being a condom carrying friend of Trojan, she chose to ride the Bareback Mountain with at least one partner, who filed criminal charges on her ass. Maybe too starstruck, her partner did not insist on donning a condom- which almost makes him complicit if the stakes weren’t so high. Platinum tail or not, rubbers should be as mandatory as shirts and shoes entering the gas station are. Kat Stacks, who seems to be having a little fun at Soulja Boy’s expense dodges beatdowns like teenage girls dodge R Kelly.  Physically attacked on numerous occaisons, talk is the least of Kat’s worries.

Wives get all the sympathy, concern, and well wishes, leaving NONE for groupies. The Cinderella ending that all groupies wish for is a fairy tale only told by Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. Living down the public private times shared with a celeb might not ever happen, and will always leave a stain insert Monica’ Lewinsky’s infamous blue dress here on your image and self-esteem. You may become the character that everyone has made you out to be instead of who you once were, just another somebody looking for love. Don’t lean on your celeb tail for support, they’ve got careers to attend to. Maybe Dr. Drew will come calling to reform you though.

At Your Best — In Memory of Aaliyah


The world will pause and a reflect, even for just a second to reminisce on Aaliyah Dana Haughton, the R&B songstress who was taken from us nine years ago today. Aaliyah, whose smooth grooves captivated and inspired us is always remembered as a graceful and humble woman, was on the cusp of becoming a break out star when tragedy struck on the shoot of the visually moving Rock The Boat video. We celebrate her memory and the impact she made in her short time on this Earth and in her memory contemplate the importance of our own legacies that we pass on to the next generation of young girls.

When her first hit single Back and Forth dropped in 1994, it shot up the charts and led her Age Ain’t Nothin But a Number album to multi platinum status. At 14, Aaliyah was praised for her Sade like yearning and soul far beyond her years. Her voice dripped with an aching, melodic echo that was a perfect blend with R. Kelly production. Part of Aaliyah’s mystic was her apparent enigmatic demeanor and cool unforced sensuality. Amid rumors of liaisons and a marriage with accused pedophile R. Kelly, Aaliyah’s approval with the public never really took a hit as she switched up to the futuristic pop funk team of Timbaland and Missy Elliott to produce her follow-up album One in A Million, which sold eight million records worldwide. On this album, Aaliyah mesmorized her audience showing off clean and polished dance routines in her videos and a cool confidence that would no longer be confused with being shy. Solidifying her as a formidable star and establishing Timbaland as a bona fide hit maker, Aaliyah parlayed her rapport with the public into movie roles and ad campaigns with Tommy Hilfiger. Before her untimely death, Aaliyah was already the sweetheart of R&B music.

Despite enduring a drama with R. Kelly that could have been a career killer, Aaliyah stayed in tune with her calling. Choosing not to bow to the depths of the gossip and speculation around her, Aaliyah proved that talent, ingenuity, and resolve would reign over smack talk. Her humble, angelic disposition left a resounding imprint on her fans, even as artists to come failed to duplicate this from Aaliyah’s arsenal. Ciara may have copied from Aaliyah’s blueprint, but we all could learn a thing or two about how being your One In A Million self and dusting yourself off to Try Again can open up a world of possibility and opportunity. Her gracious and grateful spirit will reign forever, as we will never forget who Aaliyah was, and in her memory today and always be At Your Best.

I Miss You- Aaliyah featuring Jay Z

Aaliyah’s Last Interview FOUR DAYS before her death

This Industry Was More Like A Different World
When It Was Just Me, Monica, And Baby Girl, Aaliyah
I Never Got To Tell You How Much You Mean
I Wish You and Me Both Were Sittin’ Here Working With Tim
Just To Be In The Presence Of The People That You Affected
At the Personal Level Just Makes Me Stop For A Second
You Were Such A Blessing
You Helped Me Answer All My Questions

Should I Go- Brandy-Brandy’s take on Aaliyah’s impact on her life.

Get Off On Your Own Joe!!! Divorce of a Dynasty


Elin Nordegren isn’t the only wife putting everything he owns in a box to the left. Joe Jackson, the profiteer patriarch of the Jackson family just got served by a weary, fed up Katherine Jackson. After years of cheating, allegations of mental and physical abuse Katherine, the guardian of the late great Michael Jackson’s children has finally had enough of her man’s indiscretions and shenanigans. The final nail in the coffin was Joe blaming Katherine for Michael’s death, as if beating Michael’s ass for years and traumatizing the family like the KKK spooking black people was just harmless hazing preparing the kids for a tough world. Sure, Joe. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Joe Jackson, a steel mill worker from Gary, Indiana always dreamed of having the good life. Back in the day believe it or not Joe was the hot ticket, a local singer that made all the girls scream. He seemed to resent the small country children he fathered with his young wife Katherine because he now had to work for a living instead of the play he had grown so accustomed to. Never one to pass up a good hustle, he became the manager of the tribe of young talented Jacksons while Katherine a known devout Jehovah’s Witness, raised her children and tried to be the best wife she could be. Katherine found out waay too late that a wild playboy like Joe has a lot of Miley in him and simply can’t be tamed. How many of Katherine’s friends begged her to walk away from this slickback trickster who only looked at her children and saw dollar signs and her as some push over that would always be there for him? After making a vow to love someone for life, when is enough enough and you have to say “my bad” to God and ask Him to take back the promise you’ve made before Him?

Women  hold out hope in their hearts that they can change their mates, as if they are God Himself. Change is something that comes from within even if it is inspired by someone else. Husbands like Joe who use others for their benefit, run the streets like single men, and totally ignore the vows of honor and respect that marriage entails don’t deserve leniency for their acts. Wives must learn to get past the pain of being in the relationship from hell and blaming themselves for the inevitable collapse of these snakebit unions. Women must arrive at these conclusions on their own usually at the expense of precious time as the days of their lives pass by. Ultimately they’ve given years to a man that treats love like Enron execs treated their employee’s 401k’s. Staying in a shitty marriage just for the kids sake although admirable is unfair to you and your children. If your kids don’t like like this guy, you might want to get Jacoby and Myers on the line pronto. The least you deserve is half!!

Kudos to Katherine for finally saying Beat It to Satan’s black brother Joe Jackson. Even if time isn’t on her side, even if she is alone, she deserves peace and serenity. Living with a domestic terrorist makes for uneasy days and nights as the unpredictable is always bound to happen with these jokers. Divorce is never happy, but somewhere in Heaven Michael Jackson is doing the moonwalk singing Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa, proud of his mother for having the strength to walk away and knowing his children won’t be raised like he was. Now let’s hope VH-1 doesn’t hire Tionna Smalls and a camera crew to find her a new man.

Downgrading to Upgrade???


In this brave new world, cash rules everything around us- not excluding dating. Throughout history women have been subjected to pre arranged marriages, being sold off as dowries, and even the oldest profession of prostitution as a way of living the good life and having male attention. Only in recent history women have been granted the freedom to choose her mate. Ironically many women have chosen to bank their future not on the premise of love but on money. Gold digging is no longer a sport for the groupies as every day ladies are cruising the streets looking for Mr. Big 401k. Some man with a big wallet isn’t always Prince Charming on a white horse, even if he can afford the carriage ride.

Men are the new women. In this day and age men are courted and pursued like the way women were in the not so distant past. The most sought after men are the not the ones with the biggest hearts, but the biggest income. Looks, intelligence, personality, and even compatibility are no match for a Daddy Warbucks. Rich guys even have sugar daddy websites further solidifying the power of his almighty dollar. The douchebaggery behavior that many of these Primo Don divos exhibit is overlooked and ignored as they flaunt their benjamins like food for women who seem to be as hungry as starving Africans for money attention and affection. Some of these guys even let their appearance fall off as no one cares how fat and unhealthy they are as long as the checks keep rollin’ in. Always the discriminator, these hefty high rollers wouldn’t dare date a woman as unfit or unattractive as they are. Many are just playboys trying girls out as women compete for them like they are training for the 2012 London Olympics. Jumping through the hoops of his heart may take years as the winner of the prize is often the one most willing to put up with unsavory bullshit. Even as the number of available men seem to decrease, the regular guys don’t stand a chance against ol’ money bags. What is it about these rich guys that seems to permit women to compromise on the most basic of their needs to chase the waterfalls of mansions and Mercedes Benzes?

The regular guy can’t win for losing. He falls back as the Miss Independent’s of the world pass him by in the races of prestigious positions at work only to be badmouthed and belittled by women that won’t date him because he isn’t rich. Rich losers are exalted and regular guys get lumped in with Federlines in the dating hierarchy. Around the way boys have become disillusioned with the bold rejections they receive at the manicured hands of women, demasculated because they aren’t taken seriously. Sure they may be a Mel Bushman, but they never see the respect and admiration they need that their rich counterparts bask in. Women talk, behave, and expect totally different things from the regs. At one hint of impropriety these guys are cut off with the quickness, while rich douches string women along until they’re done with them. Even if they share interests, jokes, and good times with the modern-day chica, these connections are dwarfed by the dollar. Unable to figure out what women really want, lots of these guys settle for nights out with the boys and strippers when they need the undivided attention of a female.

Life isn’t cheap. The cost of living grows higher and higher and the finer things in life seem more accessible than ever. Hypnotized by MTV Cribs and  The Real Housewives, we look at glamor as something to be magically bestowed upon us rather than earned. The financial advantages of the few as seen as the sole symbols of success and equated with happiness. As money plays a huge part in what we can experience in life, love and true companionship should be the anchor of every relationship, even if the relationship isn’t equipped with a yacht. To sacrifice who you are and what is authentic to you for financial gain is an unecessary toll in a cold world, especially when the best things in life are free.

The Bold and The Beautiful


They never really miss you until you’re dead or you’re gone. While she’s on this Earth Diana Ross, the true Queen of all Pop music deserves her shine. Billboard bestowed the title of  “Entertainer of the Century” upon this modern-day Josephine Baker in the 1970’s over kings like Frank Sinatra and even a young Michael Jackson. We know Diana may not be the greatest sanger of all time, but what Diana represents is the archetype for all R&B and Pop female artists, although they can never recreate the impact of her influence on the world. Her energy has inspired women all over the globe, and her story is one of grace, humility, and perseverance.

Sure Florence Ballard was the better singer in The Supremes. She had a soulful and rich voice that could bring people to tears. Berry Gordy not only saw his future babymomma in Diana, he saw a chance to change the perception of beauty in glamour in the eyes of the world. Diana was amongst the first darker skinned sisters to be seen as glamorous and beautiful in ways that only Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne were. Placing Diana as the frontwoman of the group instead of the sultry and curvaceous Florence was a decision that confused the group, but altered the course of history. The Supremes became the greatest and most emulated female group of all time, and Diana would have two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (singing AND acting)  and eighteen number one singles in her career. Not bad for a girl from the projects in Detroit. Born Diane Ernestine Earle Ross in March of 1944, Diana always felt that she had a gift. Even in the poverty ridden Brewster-Douglass Projects of Detroit and having several brothers and sisters, Diana was named best dressed in her senior year. Always thinking forward, Diana graduated a year early and dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. Being in Detroit, the culture of doo wop and singing began to penetrate her soul.  Diana hustled the streets of Detroit with her pre Supreme band mates meeting every and any one that had connections to music. She worked hard on her talents to get to the budding Motown Records and former boxer Berry Gordy.

Diana got the brunt of the teasing as the lead singer of the then “no hit” Supremes, the laughing stock of young Motown Records. Never discouraged, Diana worked even harder pulling late studio sessions and vibing with different producers until Motown struck gold with the sweet mix of Diana’s voice and Holland-Dozier-Holland instrumentals. Pioneers of the “Sound of Young America” the pop songs with R&B grooves took The Supremes off the “Chitlin Circuit” and into the homes of mainstream America with a frenzy only rivaled by The Beatles. Diana and The Supremes were portrayed not as church groomed, soul stirring singers that their contemporaries were, but as style icons with easy, breezy feel good music. Diana’s unique look, her wide doe eyes and ever-changing hair made her stand out amongst the rest of her group and the rest of the entertainment world. Even the mighty Beatles were humbled in the presence of the Queen. Although some fans and insiders saw her as cold and opportunistic, Diana Ross sent money to the family of Florence Ballard after her death. Once she left the group she made über famous, Diana’s role as Billie Holiday in Lady Sings the Blues gave her an even higher profile. Keep in mind this was a time in the world where black people were still not considered equal to whites. In South Africa, Diana was one of the very first black women ever granted “honorary white status”, going even further as the chocolate angel broke down even more stereotypes across the world.Even as death, drugs, and tragedy gripped many artists she grew to work with and love, Diana stayed the course and turned her pain into number one hits like her ode to the great Marvin Gaye, Missing You.

Fellow Supreme Mary Wilson might say Diana elbowed her a few times on stage, but where would Mary Wilson be without “The Boss” Miss Ross? Her allure, glamour, and beauty inside and out made the world and Michael Jackson fall in love with her. Diana’s gift to the world was not just her voice, but her tenacity and fearless mining of her soul to become the best she could be. Thank God Diana didn’t just give up in the projects because success was too hard. The little light inside her that she always felt would not be dimmed by the racist climate of the times, or the feeling inferiority by someone else’s talent. Diana boldly went were no brown-skinned woman went before her laying  foundations of success for everyone from Mariah Carey to Rihanna, and Erykah Badu to Beyonce. Diana’s legacy is one of triumph and excellence, trumping each shortcoming people said that she had. Not even Berry Gordy believed in Diana like Diana believed in Diana. Her quiet strength and undeniable work ethic made Diana Ross a survivor, but her fierce style and bright smile made her a star. Diana is royalty, and an inspiration still.

All Men Are Dogs!!! So Date Women…!! The Plight of the Love Starved Fauxmosexual


Few things are as clearly ambiguous as female sexuality. From Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl to the L Word, lesbianism has become the back seat driver on the road of lust in pop culture. Where girls were once hiding in closets, their loud and proud sexploits are in our faces like a great pair of double d’s. While homos are still fighting for the right to marry and equality under the law, the lure of lesbianism is recruiting new soldiers like the US Army. With the ratios of single and available men dissipating every year, more and more women are starting to look at their BFF’s in a more than friendly way. What could be a better deal than being with someone who knows what it’s like to have cramps every month and not to mention sharing accessories and orgasms with? A fellow Venus-ite understands what it’s like to be a woman more than a Martian could, and just wants to be loved just like you do. Another woman wouldn’t lie or cheat like a man does. Joining the ranks of the carpet munchers looks like a viable, easy option since no one wants to be alone, but is the carpet that much better than the hard wood?

Females seem to be pretty dramatic. Even as children, we acted out the soap opera which was Barbie’s life.  By the time college rolls around, girls and guys often pressure young women to have a slice of putang pie. Bi-curiousity is natural, but all curious thoughts are not necessary to explore. A full-blown lezzie isn’t typically interested in being a sexual lab rat for a wishy-washy maybe bi-girl. If she really likes you and you are just trying out fish in the sea, you could have a brand new crush to ward off.  Some lesbians are on vampire mode, looking for new blood to suck and transform into one of their own. They love the chase and the power of turning another girl out. How foolish could you look sleeping with a known lesbian predator just because you’ve become disillusioned with boys? Just like men view the vulnerable as conquests, so do these pussy seizing pirates. If you think you look crazy being the stalkerazzi of your boyfriend, imagine how you’ll feel stalking some elusive lesbian woman conqueror. Fights are just as intense if not more so and because  you are both girls the domestic violence stigmas have less sting. Ask around, many of lesbians have squared up toe to toe with their partners in pussy. Be prepared to argue to the edges of the earth because all women love to have the last word. The mental stress of being so familiar and so close can make for the most hurtful and embarrassing arguments of your life. Your homegirls may not be the best audience for the Ellen and Anne Heche Show. New found lesbianism could confuse your friends and family members opening up another can of worms or whoop ass. The PDA’s you shared with your former boy toys are now freak shows if anyone sees you smooching or hand holding with your lady lover. Stares, gasps, oohs and ahhs, ridicule, and everybody questioning you about your life isn’t so hard to get used to.

Deciding to cross over to the state of Vagina is not a decision that should be made just to spite a man, or because of loneliness. Neither should it be made because some lezzie thinks you’re hot. Sex produces chemical bonds and endorphins in our brains that tie us to one another, and all these soul ties should be considered before the actual acts. Fun isn’t just fun when your heart is in the hands of Rosie the Riveter. Once certain boundaries are crossed it is difficult to go back, so the tipping point must be fully examined on an individual basis before following through with residency at the cat house. After review, many of the girl smoochers are really just confused and looking for love in all the wrong places. Just because Prince Charming’s hairy knuckles aren’t yet rapping on your door, that doesn’t mean place the glass slipper on Cinderella’s foot.