Relationships and the Open Bedroom Door Policy

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So…. let me get this straight… You get to out on dates, have all the sex you want, and you can still go home and love your boo? As the clock ticks down to Armageddon society has become more progressive in accepting alternative relationships, the open relationship is emerging as a doable option for many couples. It seems simple right? The more the merrier! Who wouldn’t want to live like Hugh Hefner with a bevy of beauties at their fingertips without having the label or consequences of cheating? With the number of single men dwindling and single women ballooning what’s wrong with sharing a piece of your pie since there’s so much to go around? Humans are polyamourous by nature right? What’s wrong with letting go of traditional views of relationships and adding to your love nest? EVERYTHING.

Open relationships are not just about sex- A couple who seeks out a third option is usually hopeless at their wit’s end with each other, yet are too afraid to cut off life support of their dead ass relationship. Just like these people cling to each other, so scared to be alone they will cling to you as well. They act as if they’ve inducted you into some secret society of sex and they won’t let you out until they’ve hurt you as much as they’ve hurt each other. Since “everything” is out in the “open” you get to be the scapegoat for this couple’s pre-existing problems! What a neat membership gift NOT! Sure you may get a hot night or even a menage a trois out of the deal but that isn’t worth your sanity. Couples notice every interaction their mate has with other people. If he stares into your eyes one second longer, or laughs at your jokes harder than he does his “boo” you are in for trouble. If you are lucky enough to never meet the Mrs., know that once she goes through his phone and sees evidence of the playful rapport between you and Hugh jealousy will surge through her body like a cocaine rush. So you will probably get to meet her soon enough.

Open relationships aint no picnic

The point of a committed relationship is sacrificing and forsaking all others to give one person total devotion. That is the beauty of what makes a “relationship”. Human nature may compel you to be attracted to other people, this doesn’t mean this is an impulse that is necessary to act on. Choosing to do so not only “opens” a Pandora’s Box of issues and problems, it intensifies them. There is a constant comparison (way worse than Prince vs Michael Jackson, or Lebron vs Kobe) and in any competition there can only be one winner. Anyone who is willing to give their life partner to a virtual stranger is saying more about their own greedy needs than they are their “open” heart. An open relationship is not a factory of free love, but an institution of confusion with very high taxes. Deciding to toss your peace of mind out the window to fill the void in somebody else’s relationship will inevitably lead you tossed out the window once this relationship fully manifests itself. It’s hard to lick your wounds when your used to multiple others licking them for you.

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One response »

  1. I don’t understand how people expect for good things to happen when they do the wrong thing…that’s like planting tomato seeds and expecting watermelon…lol…but good article!

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