Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nothing Can Come Between Us- The Affection of a Capricorn

Standard

….A Capricorn woman neither falls in love at first sight, nor wastes time on mindless flirtations. Love is serious stuff and should not to be trifled with. She believes in love, but she will have no truck with fate. Ever convinced of her own abilities, she takes matters of the heart into her own hands, though it may be awhile before she makes her move. Observant and discriminating, she spends some time to get to know her partner, and will usually allow herself to fall in love completely when all the outcomes have been considered. Sometimes, however, she is taken off guard, and emotions overcome her…

Capricorn Woman in Love – Cafe Astrology

I learned love from the earthy, pragmatic spirit of Capricorn women. Their aura of coolness often coupled with their blunt, carefully crafted persona of mystery and strength was always in direct opposite of my fiery, emotions on my sleeve Leo attitude. A Capricorn woman could be miserable, lonely, lost and U.O.E.N.O!! A Capricorn woman would never put her vulnerability or shortcomings out for the world to pick at like left over Chinese food, or would she? Although each woman is unique our experiences are shared and sometimes the only person who gets you is somebody who you’ve never spoken to and wouldn’t know you from a can of paint. Enter Helen Folasade Adu. The woman who gets me more than anyone else.

Reeling from a breakup that tugs at the pit of my soul, or being so lost in love that I’d never want to find my way out, there always was the music of Sade setting the backdrop for my desires, my weaknesses, and my fears. No one could tell the story of what it was like to be alone in the world wondering why yet carrying on, being wounded yet still alive like she has. Sade sings the songs of the broken spirited with so much enchantment that hollow souls somehow warm with smoldering presence even if they never see the spark of the flame. Perhaps the alchemy of the Capricorn woman, even Sade’s love songs have an air of the melancholy. She could give you the “Kiss of Life” and leave you longing forever.

The lyrics of her songs sometimes don’t rhyme. Sade’s words sound as if she’s in the studio with her diary flipping back and forth through finding the most raw of her feelings to bellow out for the world. Her band Sweetback melts their bass heavy percussion into each song and somehow always reminded me of a heartbeat. The moments in my life where love has almost stopped my heart from beating, Sade was my defribulator. When life sucked the air out of my lungs, Sade breathed for me. When the great loves of my life shut the door in my face, Sade was in the hallway with the Kleenex. Sade showed me there was always strength there- even when she and I seemed hopeless. Despite the quest that life and love took me on, the Capricorn woman taught me to be authentic to my soul.

Happy Birthday to my mother, my best friend, and the fabulous, airy, hopeless romantic Sade!! So opposite of me in so many ways these three women know my soul as if it’s my reflection they see in the mirror. I only hope to learn to apply grace in my vulnerability like they have.

The Anatomy of An Affair..

Standard

image

Right there below physical abuse, the most heinous betrayal in an intimate relationship is infidelity. Finding out your partner is looser than the nickel slots at Hollywood Casino is shocking, numbing, and all consuming. The lies, twists of truth, and deception by omission can make life feel the biggest falsest show on earth. The elaborate ruse that cheating makes a person’s life somehow bends reality to no end. When someone decides the attention and affection they require is worth more to them than honesty or monogamy they have ultimately made the choice for their mate by their actions. The cheater who wants you back is saying “I love you, but I love me more. I have shown you you can’t trust me, but forget all that and worry about making me happy some more.” The key word for a cheater is more, as they are attention addicts who will always try their luck if the opportunity arises.

It’s not me, it’s you!!!

This cheater doesn’t understand or want to understand your feelings because it shifts the focus from them onto you. Surely, this cheater upon discovery will cry, and even become more angry than you are. There is only so much repentance this type of person has because their ego has already justified that their action was warranted or not that big of a deal. Guilt is an emotion for the weak, and this person will never admit more than you already know, and wouldn’t have volunteered info if you didn’t already know. Just like Kujo the guard dog, this person wants to followed blindly and will bite from time to time. They get agitated when asked to explain themselves because this is a delicate time for them emotionally and you keep fucking stressing them out!! The issue shifts from their infidelity to your inability to be openminded and your determination to hurt them. Voila, magic. That is truly some David Blaine shit.

Freakum Dress Out The Closet…??

image

The basic bitch easiest thing to do is plow yourself with alcohol, head to the bar and find some other hurting soul to act out your fantasies of paying back your cheater. Bringing someone else into this messy situation is not okay just because you are hurting. Putting yourself out there for revenge will not change the fact your mate was unfaithful. There’s no country for thirsty women and this act of defiance ends up being rather pathetic. Instead of playing Beyonce’s fab album getting dressed to go out why not let it be the soundtrack on the treadmill ? Why not be inspired by Beyonce’s art to create art of your own? Ladies our desires are more than romantic and sexual. Channeling cheated on angst in a constructive manner will be better in the long run. Desperado, why won’t you come to your senses!?

But my family will miss you if you don’t….

Cheater’s mamas like EVERYBODY, FYI. The families of cheaters have been used to the parade of penis/pussy in and out their lives since the cheater’s high school days. They won’t shed any tears over you, and will shake the hand of the next one, the last one, and all the ones in between, all on the same day, almost at the same damn time. Please don’t think because this lady cooked a meal for you while you were at her house or gave you a little trinket that she has some emotional tie to you. It’s all part of the game!! You didn’t really think that you were part of the family did you?

Relationships are never easy, as good things rarely come easy. Waking up knowing your life is a lie and finding out your mate is pulling the strings is hurtful and scary. Remembering the only person’s actions you can control are your own is the only sane way to deal with the pain of infidelity. The assault on your femininity, your trust, and your worthiness as a mate can’t come from within. The cheater’s shortcomings don’t dictate who you are ever. If the pain isn’t used as fuel to make yourself better you are being just as toxic to yourself as the cheater is. Now please excuse me as I run on the treadmill to Jealous by Beyonce, prepare a bubble bath, chill this presecco, and get on with my life.

Every Woman That I Know….

Standard

Wants someone who is a great leader. A leader knows their role lies in the responsibility that their power allows them to have. A leader is a giver and is strong enough and kindhearted to walk anywhere without fear or shame. A leader is a listener, and when a leader speaks it is with knowledge and foresight.

Hip Hop’s Heart Throb @Nas and “Nasty”

 

 

 

 

 

Kim Kardashian: The Role Model, Reloaded

Standard

No one is saying go make a sex tape with your friends horny little brother and become a fame whore. But you can bounce back from any embarrassment from your past and become the person you want to be. 

Everyone knows the formula by now. Make a sex tape, get a reality show, and become gossip blog fodder while brushing off the haters via Twitter rants. The 21st century celebutante archetype is less based on talent and more on media savvy. The Drayas’ of the world are this generation’s Carrie Bradshaw as legions of women propel ratings of shows like Basketball Wives, Bad Girls Club, The Real Housewives, and of course the many Kardashian Klan spinoffs on the E! Network. The malice, slander, and girlfights are as addictive as the sex, five star restaurants, and fashions portrayed on these shows are all things that appeal to the female ego. Heavy on materialism and sexualization, reality TV can either make you think the apocalypse is upon us, or all the images of young women on reality television display loose moraled, foul mouthed, cringe worthy assualt and rattery behavior. This isn’t always the case with all of these shows, all the time.

Kim Kardashian is rocking the crowned jeweled tiara as Queen of the Reality empire. Unassing her sextape predecessor Paris Hilton, no one has turned busted nuts into a money tree quite like Kimmy. Instead of playing to the image her actions (or lack of action) with loverman Ray J, Kimberly Noel capitalized on it. Kim Kardashian, the empire is worth  $35 million, and counting. Not only lending her image for product endorsement, Kim executes her ideas into tangible businesses like workout DVDs and clothing lines.  Kim Kardashian’s face is more synonymous with glamor than smut nowadays, even upgrading JC Penny’s to fly girl status. Her exploits may have made Kim the butt of many jokes. Kim has been called a talentless J-Lo, a slut, a gold digger and an athlete chaser. But, the bigger but is that judgment, cynicism, and suspicion are hurdles any woman that has ever done anything dubious in her life must face and vault over to ever gain a true sense of who she is. Kim Kardashian can never run from or deny what she has done, all anyone would ever have to do is Google her. Sure Kim got smashed on camera and got replaced by Reggie Bush in front of millions, but is that who we really see when we watch Kim on TV? Is that the person Kim Kardashian is?

Last night, E! aired the highly anticipated Kim Kardashian Wedding Special as the world watched the decadence, arguing, and stress of putting on a wedding fit for a queen. We saw Kim the concerned daughter by her mother’s side after surgery, the Kim crying in her stepdad’s arms dreaming of her birth father, the Kim who seemed to be the glue of a busy, dysfunctional average, American family.  To the chagrin of the trill OG’s, Kris Humphries made a hoe a housewife in front of the world, even sending her trinkets right before she walked down the aisle. It was as if Kim’s unable to keep a man-ness, FaceTime with Brandy’s brother, and general bimboism were relics of the past like VHS tapes and Walkmans.. maybe because they are.

Kudos to Kim. Feminists and womanists alike salivate at pointing out her shortcomings, but what about embracing a woman who clearly owns all her flaws, understands and works with them? Kim no longer actively sells sex, she sells perfume, diet pills, and party dresses. Kim alludes a certain type of grace, confidence, and focus despite her vulnerability and embarrassing porno past. What if women learned not to let go of their past? What if women stopped running away from their past? What if women learned what Kim Kardashian learned? Kim learned the long and hard way that who she is and what she did are two entire different things. Kim learned she isn’t what people said she is, she is who she puts her energy into being. Kim didn’t throw out the sour lemons of life, she made lemoncellos lemonade (Kim doesn’t drink). Kim is far from perfect. She seems to want to do everything on camera. Maybe reality TV for celebs is what Facebook or Twitter is for regular folks, hmmm… Of course Kim Kardashian is no Mother Teresa, but who is? #kanyeshrug

all in a day’s work…

I’ll Never Be Picture Perfect Beyonce….

For More On Sex Kittens, Check Out Devyn McAllister in the sexy corporate thriller , Everything I Miss At Home available on ITunes and Amazon.

Catching The One Who Got Away….

Standard

There is always that ONE. The one we tend to see unexpectedly in our dreams, who leaps over into our thoughts, and inspires us to gaze at the pretty portrait of a memory in the gallery of our minds until a “mess” becomes a Monet. In time, wine, and new new (you KNOW what “new new” is!!) the poignant picture our past boos painted in our heads dulls and living takes over. Life’s routines and experiences replace the longing for the proverbial old flame. But true to The Notebook, Letters To Juliet, and Friday the 13th  fashion that old thing comes back. Words of wISdumb like “if you love something let it go, and if it’s yours it’ll come back to you” dance around in your head like Swayze did Baby!!

What fairy tale indoctrinated, Prince Charming chasing, love starved, horoscope reading, star crossed, past reconcilin’ woman in her right mind would say no to that? NOT ONE. But that is precisely the problem.

We all live in the now, and not in our past. However each moment we have lived has led us to where we are in the present. The present moment dictates our future. Not one of these three things are independent of each other as the past fuels the choices we make in our present, as the  present  becomes the past. The past and the present SHOULD build off each other, since inevitably they do anyway. The future itself is inevitably going to become the past as well. Nothing can ever be undone from the past. No amount of compensation could ever undo painful or incomplete experiences from the past. It cannot be ressurected. The past is etched, yet the story of the future is unwritten.  Why junk up the book of your life with someone who thought they could do better than you, let you go and since deciding they are so fucked up and down on their luck NOW the ONE person who would take pity on their sorry ass is YOU? Is this really a romantic scenario? Is scrubbing up some jerk who shows up like an abused puppy

help please!!

on your doorstep pleading for mercy, forgiveness, and understanding (AND pussy) truly destiny? Isn’t Prince Charming supposed to be strong, considerate to no end, and confident on a white horse- not this beggin’ broken boy instead *adelevoice*?? Why does the old flame come back always needing and never giving?  Raise your hand if your old flame came back after they went away, gained knowledge about the world to share with you, got rich, worked so hard until they could sweep you off your feet just to retire with you to a bungalow in Barbados but first they have to give you this five carat ring to show how much they’ve changed ? More than likely the old flame returns after being spurned by a woman who obviously has more damn sense than your sucker for love ass. Clap for your pride, self esteem and good sense, it has left the building.

Who Should You Shoot Down?

Truth is the satisfaction of seeing the crook that stole your heart come before the parole board of your judgment squirming for your favor should be enough. How can any self respecting woman choose a “future” with someone who has previously exhibited such serious choice issues? Rejection is often the Universe’s way of protecting you from yourself. The one who got away LEFT. HELLO!? The one who got away told you no over and over as you cried and begged please have a heart, but now your heart has to open up like Houston for Hurricane Katrina victims for them? NO FEMA!!  Changing over time is a personal choice, and a person whose earned reputation precedes them should be looked at with a scrutinizing eye, not one of compassion. Being willing to be a halfway house for smooth criminals as they transition back into their old swagger could get you shot right in your soul, again.

Lot’s Wife turned to salt for trying to encase a memory of her past into her present and future. There is no need to look back on disaster when an unwritten future is ahead. Your experiences are for teaching, not for repeating, NOT FOR REPEATING, NOT FOR REPEATING. If you learned anything, you would have learned all the time, love, attention, and affection you gave that old flame who burned you would have best served to save yourself. But you didn’t learn did you….??

Besides…

Are You And Keri Hilson Trying Waaay Too Hard To Be Sexy?

Standard

In order to overt the world from Rihanna’s cakes, Keri Hilson goes in snatch first on her new single “The Way You Love Me”. Reeking of laughable desperation, Miss Keri Baby licks doors and dry humps floors, gives The Chef Rick Ross a lapdance, as well as sings lyrics like “I got the kinda pussy that will keep you off the streets” in an  attempt to ooze womanly seduction. Perhaps she thought she was grabbing her sexuality by its reigns and whooping us into submission, but Keri really just looks kinda pathetic.

Less is more. It’s natural to want to highlight the come hither features we are blessed to possess. An all out flesh fest for every Tom, Dick, and Rick Ross makes you come across easier than the Soul Train Scramble Board. Wild and looseyness will definitely attract the boys eyes, but along with all the “good” attention received unwanted sexual advances will plague you like bad credit. Also, no one takes anybody this sleazy seriously. So blinded by trying to be an individual and wanting to be seen as unique, many GROWN women have resorted to heaux tactics just to be noticed amongst the plethora of beauties in the world. Drunk off pussy power, these women have begun to think raw sexuality defines who they are as a person. Firing off cum shots as a personal attribute misfires because instead of owning your sexuality, sexuality begins to own you. What you think comes across as an insatiable appetite appears to be a primal Amazonic neediness that onlookers will fantasize about hitting, then unceremoniously quitting. What good is it to be a fantasy when the fantasy only runs deep as the last stroke? Most guys don’t even view these girls as breakfast the morning after material. Balancing sensuality is difficult for women because most are unaware of the natural voodoo that is in our clutches already. It is highly unnecessary unless your occupation is in porn or exotic dance to give too much in order to be seen as a young Venus. The brew of aesthetics, the way we dress and walk, as well as talk for us lucky girls already cooks up a dish of hot to trot. Personality, drive, and class in a woman added to the mix is what truly makes a woman sexy and attractive.

We don’t have to look at Keri Hilson as the only breaker of this lady law. A quick cruise on Facebook will show pics that would make Lil Kim cringe. Josephine Baker is somewhere in Heaven peeling a banana from her skirt, scratching her head in dismay wondering why we never really got it. Sensuality is a venomous, peculiar art that is so deadly it can even kill she who possesses it. If you are not a heaux, why wear a heaux’s uniform? No one is saying be a nun, but really Keri you don’t have to try this hard.

Stop Letting People Feed Off You- The Last Supper

Standard

Bella from Twilight isn’t the only chick that gets seduced by bloodsuckers and howling wolves pining for her attention. The world can be like a zombie flick, with souless, hungry, pariahs starving for a chunk of your flesh, time, and money so that they can live. The bloodthirsty will not rest until they’ve sucked you dry and you’ve become one of them. Since garlic won’t ward them off, internal strength is the only thing that can keep these vampires at bay.

Hurt people really do hurt people. Accepting that good and bad are built-in guarantees in life are hard pills to swallow for most people. Many chicks have been beat down into thinking that the negative things that happen to them are cruel life fucking them and only them once again. At first a victim mentality can cause feelings of fear that paralyzes and stunts growth whether it be personally or professionally. Victims can evolve into bully assholes with a chip on their shoulders because they feel the world owes them a settlement due to the life sentence they have in their own bodies. These sheep in wolves clothing lash out at everyone and everything that opposes them, ripping everything to shreds until they’ve gotten their emotional release. These monsters have long killed any sympathy due to them, and refuse to take personal responsibility for their problems. Experts at having people by the balls, they play the blame game like four square- bouncing emotions to everyone else around them, not satisfied until someone else feels the pain and distress they deal with everyday.

The most delicious dish to these emotional gluttons is kind and giving people. They are the buffet that the tyrannical feast on. To these people, kindness is a weakness that should be exploited and eaten until nothing is left. If you find this beast’s teeth in your neck, examine how the blind eye turned to their behavior got you in this position. Man up and let people know when they’ve crossed personal boundaries. Do you even have personal boundaries? Examine what boundaries are. Don’t wait for a habitual line stepper to do what they are best at doing. Hand ups differ from hand outs. Examine why its your responsibility to be the Salvation Army to every unfortunate soul you meet. Why are you the one with the mop and bucket cleaning up other people’s messes? When intuition sends the fuckery alert signals louder than speakers at the club and the conscious choice is made to ignore them, that is not Frankenstein’s fault. You and all the other bitchass people encountered by this creature are complicit in creating it. Help someone by setting standards and expectations. Be the person that makes this needy person think. Standing up for yourself will feel better than the face down ass up alternative position. Thou art not the savior, stop being crucified for the sins and fuck ups of others. This stance is not intended to advocate self-righteous prickness, but to take the blinders off the most intimate personal donations of time, emotions, and even money. Discernment is the only magic power that keeps you safe from toxic, no air situations. Learn to tell your boss, coworkers, husbands, homies, congressmen, mommas, and strangers no- AND STAND BY IT when something is not feeling right.

We are not built with fuckery force fields to shield us from the bullshit raindrops that fall down inevitably upon all of us. We are blessed with intuition, ears, eyes, and good ol’ common sense. It is very important to grasp the smoke and mirrors concept of suffering as a personal thing and accept it as a universal one.  Look at others and yourself with compassion and empathy. We should all see everybody is going through something, but ultimately it is upon us as individuals to get through our problems. Life’s punches can hit like Laila, so defend yourself and dodge the blows that you can. Grow a backbone and give of your heart, not because you’ve allowed yourself to be tricked by wolf in grandma’s reading glasses licking their chops to take a bite out of you.