Tag Archives: spirituality

Nothing Can Come Between Us- The Affection of a Capricorn

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….A Capricorn woman neither falls in love at first sight, nor wastes time on mindless flirtations. Love is serious stuff and should not to be trifled with. She believes in love, but she will have no truck with fate. Ever convinced of her own abilities, she takes matters of the heart into her own hands, though it may be awhile before she makes her move. Observant and discriminating, she spends some time to get to know her partner, and will usually allow herself to fall in love completely when all the outcomes have been considered. Sometimes, however, she is taken off guard, and emotions overcome her…

Capricorn Woman in Love – Cafe Astrology

I learned love from the earthy, pragmatic spirit of Capricorn women. Their aura of coolness often coupled with their blunt, carefully crafted persona of mystery and strength was always in direct opposite of my fiery, emotions on my sleeve Leo attitude. A Capricorn woman could be miserable, lonely, lost and U.O.E.N.O!! A Capricorn woman would never put her vulnerability or shortcomings out for the world to pick at like left over Chinese food, or would she? Although each woman is unique our experiences are shared and sometimes the only person who gets you is somebody who you’ve never spoken to and wouldn’t know you from a can of paint. Enter Helen Folasade Adu. The woman who gets me more than anyone else.

Reeling from a breakup that tugs at the pit of my soul, or being so lost in love that I’d never want to find my way out, there always was the music of Sade setting the backdrop for my desires, my weaknesses, and my fears. No one could tell the story of what it was like to be alone in the world wondering why yet carrying on, being wounded yet still alive like she has. Sade sings the songs of the broken spirited with so much enchantment that hollow souls somehow warm with smoldering presence even if they never see the spark of the flame. Perhaps the alchemy of the Capricorn woman, even Sade’s love songs have an air of the melancholy. She could give you the “Kiss of Life” and leave you longing forever.

The lyrics of her songs sometimes don’t rhyme. Sade’s words sound as if she’s in the studio with her diary flipping back and forth through finding the most raw of her feelings to bellow out for the world. Her band Sweetback melts their bass heavy percussion into each song and somehow always reminded me of a heartbeat. The moments in my life where love has almost stopped my heart from beating, Sade was my defribulator. When life sucked the air out of my lungs, Sade breathed for me. When the great loves of my life shut the door in my face, Sade was in the hallway with the Kleenex. Sade showed me there was always strength there- even when she and I seemed hopeless. Despite the quest that life and love took me on, the Capricorn woman taught me to be authentic to my soul.

Happy Birthday to my mother, my best friend, and the fabulous, airy, hopeless romantic Sade!! So opposite of me in so many ways these three women know my soul as if it’s my reflection they see in the mirror. I only hope to learn to apply grace in my vulnerability like they have.

The GREATEST Love of All

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There is no shortage of commentary about how talented, yet flawed Whitney Elizabeth Houston was. Every new story echoes Whitney’s greatness, and somehow points out her substance addiction- perhaps an attempt to dim the light of her brilliant radiance. Rumors, lies, and half truths swirled around her in life, and inevitably follow her in death. Despite all of the back handed compliments and condemnations of Whitney, her essence and life should permeate us all into a greater understanding of self.

 

Whitney was gifted. It was an absolute no brainer that the tall and gorgeous Whitney Houston was unlike anyone who had ever graced our radios & TV screens. No one was as naturally beautiful with the soprano pipes Whitney had, even as a teenager. In another world, Whitney who famously mentored and mothered up and coming musicians, would have been a vision in Versace couture teaching Tyra Banks to man up against Naomi Campbell and showing her how to work her awkwardness. Whitney told the modeling world no, & Arista’s CEO Clive Davis yes and singlehandedly transformed the face of popular music. As Madonna pushed her sexuality and Janet flirted between sassy and political consciousness, Whitney simply exuded the type of glamor usually reserved for Fairy godmothers and princesses from Disney movies. Whitney’s vocals had the soul of old ladies in the front row of Grandma’s church, matched with the power and control of a seasoned opera chanteuse. Somewhere between jaw dropping amazing and striking beauty was the woman, who’s gifts were perhaps so effortless she may have not known the true value of them herself.

the FIRST Black Woman to Make the Cover of SEVENTEEN Magazine was... That's right Whitney

 

Clive Davis knew the value. Whitney’s songs made him a very rich man, Her catalog, loaded with hit records solidified Davis’ legacy as a  great eye for female powerhouse talents like Janis Joplin, Phylis Hyman, and Whitney’s Auntie Re Re, (we mortals would call her The Queen of Soul) With Whitney Houston more than most contemporary artists the technique and polish of her vocals turned great songs into modern day classic standard, after modern day classic standard. No one could sing a song like Whitney Houston.  She is the bar, bar none.  All anyone would have to do is Wiki her and go to her Vevo channel to see for themselves. Whitney who was too proud to use Auto Tune and sing over recorded vocals during performances in later career, and the press never seemed to let Whitney live it down. She came from a different era of authenticity. She always wanted to come from an authentic place and connect with her audience, so even when Whitney shouldn’t have sang, she sang. But to remember Whitney Houston in that way is like remembering Michael Jordan as a Washington Wizard. Is Elvis not the King of Rock n Roll?  Whitney just has a 20 plus year career of creating pop and American music history while being the definition by every future and current diva is measured to, while never portraying the image of sexpot to do so.

 

No one is perfect, and no one understands what motivates another to do what they do. We can’t even understand our own actions at times.  Also to whom much is given, much is tested. No one can imagine Whitney’s tests, I am just thankful that I was around to witness her gifts. There are so many lessons we could learn from Whitney’s life. I think above all things she’d wish for us to LOVE- ourselves.  She’d tell us to cherish that which makes us who we individually are. When I’m at moments of confusion in my life, after praying and thinking, I will think about Whitney Houston, and what my Fairy Godmother would think is best. My tribute to her will not just be support of her music, it will appear in the decisions that lead the direction of my life.  She will be my reminder despite being a giving person, being a talented person, being a beautiful person, never to lose myself in any of those things. Whitney will remind me to hold on to myself before any of the attributes that make me who I am. She will remind me, in the end no matter how many people good or bad pop into our lives, we are on our own.  Whitney Elizabeth Houston will be with me to remind me of personal greatness, and a personal commitment to always show love, especially to myself.

 

 

 

 

Fantasia: Affairs, Suicide Attempts, Abortions, & The Culture Of Sharing

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So Fantasia, a rags to riches pop star, has decided to come clean about some pretty “dirty” things. After a summer of cringe worthy admissions to a dalliance with a married NFL player, (whose wife decided to sue her for adultery) and a hospitalization for a suicide attempt, Fantasia comes back for more disclosing her rewards card at Planned Parenthood also got punched during her time of Kurt Cobainity. Already a serial talk show couch sitter, and reality tv star who in her short career has acted in her own biographical Lifetime movie, Fantasia is the anti Beyonce who can’t seem to tell us enough about her private life.  We know Fantasia was an illiterate drop out, a rape victim, and lived in poverty until she struck it rich and moved on up Beverly Hillbilly style with her country klan. But do we know too much about Fantasia? And are her bombshell confessions just a ploy to push her super stardom even further into the stratosphere? Or maybe this is ‘Tasia Mae’s way of saying she is just like us….??

Twitter and Facebook, even the monolithic Myspace and Blackplanet got our culture reallly comfortable shooting off our most random thoughts and even secrets. In our strive to stand out, a greater need to relate and be of the people has been fostered. Most of us feel bonded to others by our experiences and we look for insight and comfort in the arms of the ones who’ve been through similar ordeals as us. There is something cathartic about a good ol’ fashioned public confession. Is it the way we cleanse and punish ourselves simultaneously? Perhaps we are publicly shaming ourselves not to necessarily share our experiences but to embarrass ourselves before other people can do it. Fantasia’s concessions of spending most her live living in a Precious Paradise, as well as taking the notoriously head hung low role of Ciely in The Color Purple, can’t help but propel the shame spiral Fantasia seems to be obsessed with. We’ve seen our culture switch quickly from being hush hush about molestation to thousands of men admitting their childhood rapings because of Tyler Perry’s trip to the Oprah Show. In the midst of saving lives and raising awareness, the innocent are revictimized again reliving horrific incidents they’ve blocked out- comforted in the fact they are not alone.

So what’s Fantasia’s motivation? Only she knows, but her story isn’t too unfamiliar as detractors shake their head in disbelief and her fans push her to remember that they love to talk about her voice too. Reality isn’t reality when we chose to focus on the worst of our lives, it becomes a drawn out Tyler Perry movie. Finding someone close to you that you genuinely relate to is a daunting task, so its understandable why we cast our nets out in cyberspace hoping to hook a friend. Maybe Fantasia wants more fan mail, maybe she wants to be a champion of adversity, maybe she wants to sell records. I’m sure she will sit down with someone and let us know where she’s at.

At Your Best — In Memory of Aaliyah

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The world will pause and a reflect, even for just a second to reminisce on Aaliyah Dana Haughton, the R&B songstress who was taken from us nine years ago today. Aaliyah, whose smooth grooves captivated and inspired us is always remembered as a graceful and humble woman, was on the cusp of becoming a break out star when tragedy struck on the shoot of the visually moving Rock The Boat video. We celebrate her memory and the impact she made in her short time on this Earth and in her memory contemplate the importance of our own legacies that we pass on to the next generation of young girls.

When her first hit single Back and Forth dropped in 1994, it shot up the charts and led her Age Ain’t Nothin But a Number album to multi platinum status. At 14, Aaliyah was praised for her Sade like yearning and soul far beyond her years. Her voice dripped with an aching, melodic echo that was a perfect blend with R. Kelly production. Part of Aaliyah’s mystic was her apparent enigmatic demeanor and cool unforced sensuality. Amid rumors of liaisons and a marriage with accused pedophile R. Kelly, Aaliyah’s approval with the public never really took a hit as she switched up to the futuristic pop funk team of Timbaland and Missy Elliott to produce her follow-up album One in A Million, which sold eight million records worldwide. On this album, Aaliyah mesmorized her audience showing off clean and polished dance routines in her videos and a cool confidence that would no longer be confused with being shy. Solidifying her as a formidable star and establishing Timbaland as a bona fide hit maker, Aaliyah parlayed her rapport with the public into movie roles and ad campaigns with Tommy Hilfiger. Before her untimely death, Aaliyah was already the sweetheart of R&B music.

Despite enduring a drama with R. Kelly that could have been a career killer, Aaliyah stayed in tune with her calling. Choosing not to bow to the depths of the gossip and speculation around her, Aaliyah proved that talent, ingenuity, and resolve would reign over smack talk. Her humble, angelic disposition left a resounding imprint on her fans, even as artists to come failed to duplicate this from Aaliyah’s arsenal. Ciara may have copied from Aaliyah’s blueprint, but we all could learn a thing or two about how being your One In A Million self and dusting yourself off to Try Again can open up a world of possibility and opportunity. Her gracious and grateful spirit will reign forever, as we will never forget who Aaliyah was, and in her memory today and always be At Your Best.

I Miss You- Aaliyah featuring Jay Z

Aaliyah’s Last Interview FOUR DAYS before her death

This Industry Was More Like A Different World
When It Was Just Me, Monica, And Baby Girl, Aaliyah
I Never Got To Tell You How Much You Mean
I Wish You and Me Both Were Sittin’ Here Working With Tim
Just To Be In The Presence Of The People That You Affected
At the Personal Level Just Makes Me Stop For A Second
[Breath]
You Were Such A Blessing
You Helped Me Answer All My Questions

Should I Go- Brandy-Brandy’s take on Aaliyah’s impact on her life.

Get Off On Your Own Joe!!! Divorce of a Dynasty

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Elin Nordegren isn’t the only wife putting everything he owns in a box to the left. Joe Jackson, the profiteer patriarch of the Jackson family just got served by a weary, fed up Katherine Jackson. After years of cheating, allegations of mental and physical abuse Katherine, the guardian of the late great Michael Jackson’s children has finally had enough of her man’s indiscretions and shenanigans. The final nail in the coffin was Joe blaming Katherine for Michael’s death, as if beating Michael’s ass for years and traumatizing the family like the KKK spooking black people was just harmless hazing preparing the kids for a tough world. Sure, Joe. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Joe Jackson, a steel mill worker from Gary, Indiana always dreamed of having the good life. Back in the day believe it or not Joe was the hot ticket, a local singer that made all the girls scream. He seemed to resent the small country children he fathered with his young wife Katherine because he now had to work for a living instead of the play he had grown so accustomed to. Never one to pass up a good hustle, he became the manager of the tribe of young talented Jacksons while Katherine a known devout Jehovah’s Witness, raised her children and tried to be the best wife she could be. Katherine found out waay too late that a wild playboy like Joe has a lot of Miley in him and simply can’t be tamed. How many of Katherine’s friends begged her to walk away from this slickback trickster who only looked at her children and saw dollar signs and her as some push over that would always be there for him? After making a vow to love someone for life, when is enough enough and you have to say “my bad” to God and ask Him to take back the promise you’ve made before Him?

Women  hold out hope in their hearts that they can change their mates, as if they are God Himself. Change is something that comes from within even if it is inspired by someone else. Husbands like Joe who use others for their benefit, run the streets like single men, and totally ignore the vows of honor and respect that marriage entails don’t deserve leniency for their acts. Wives must learn to get past the pain of being in the relationship from hell and blaming themselves for the inevitable collapse of these snakebit unions. Women must arrive at these conclusions on their own usually at the expense of precious time as the days of their lives pass by. Ultimately they’ve given years to a man that treats love like Enron execs treated their employee’s 401k’s. Staying in a shitty marriage just for the kids sake although admirable is unfair to you and your children. If your kids don’t like like this guy, you might want to get Jacoby and Myers on the line pronto. The least you deserve is half!!

Kudos to Katherine for finally saying Beat It to Satan’s black brother Joe Jackson. Even if time isn’t on her side, even if she is alone, she deserves peace and serenity. Living with a domestic terrorist makes for uneasy days and nights as the unpredictable is always bound to happen with these jokers. Divorce is never happy, but somewhere in Heaven Michael Jackson is doing the moonwalk singing Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa, proud of his mother for having the strength to walk away and knowing his children won’t be raised like he was. Now let’s hope VH-1 doesn’t hire Tionna Smalls and a camera crew to find her a new man.

Red or Blue Pill

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Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Can one man’s trash truly be another man’s treasure? Perspective is the mind of our souls. It shapes why and how we experience what we experience. It wears rosy colored contacts, or blindly rages at the rest of the world. A healthy perspective is a discipline that will be soul food in a world of moral starvation and self gratifying gluttony. Being able to take yourself outside yourself will allow the personal sting of the situations placed on our shoulders to simply become the unluck of the draw.

The pain of betrayal at the hands of BFFs, or the rebuff of eye candy, even professional pitfalls add up to an all too familiar feeling of why me again? Instead of questioning why me, we rarely wonder why not me? We move through life as if we are immune to hurt, negativity, and setbacks like all these things don’t make up a normal life. No amount of preparing, planning, and pondering will ever prevent confusing or uncomfortable things from happening to us. Women become afraid to love because someone hurt them before and cut themselves off from every man on the planet, yet refuse to look at themselves to make changes. Many of us only seek to place blame. Some of us embark on new ventures and ideas and at the hint of failure retreat back into the safe world of mediocrity by never doing anything ambitious again. When we begin to believe the world is undeserving of the best of us we only hurt ourselves. The pain of self limitation and regrets makes life a disaster waiting to happen instead of a joy meant to experience. Pain is love. Pain is meant to teach the lesson of appreciation and growth. Setbacks are set ups for bigger and better things. Disappointment is not some isolating, personal pain but the honest universal truth that every human being experiences. Internalizing and over analyzing mistakes as personal ass whoopings from God and turning your back on all mankind is the cowards way out of experiencing life. Perspective will change the tune of any negative situation. A sharp perspective is the light in the dark. Perspective is seeing the yin and the yang in all of life.

Understand, perspective is a choice. It’s not some magical understanding received after successful relationships or career moves. A sharp perspective is a constant and steady flow of energy that recognizes negativity is part of the game. Muddling in despair, confusion, and isolation is the refusal of allowing perspective in. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. The pieces that life’s puzzle leaves us to put together is of our own creation. Moving from point A to get to point B isn’t impossible over a burned bridge, it takes powerful, mindful navigation. Choosing to be negative will simply make the trek harder, but there is even beauty in that mission. Or we can choose to just sit idly while life passes by. The pills we choose to swallow either be our nourishment or malnutrition.

Relationships and the Open Bedroom Door Policy

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So…. let me get this straight… You get to out on dates, have all the sex you want, and you can still go home and love your boo? As the clock ticks down to Armageddon society has become more progressive in accepting alternative relationships, the open relationship is emerging as a doable option for many couples. It seems simple right? The more the merrier! Who wouldn’t want to live like Hugh Hefner with a bevy of beauties at their fingertips without having the label or consequences of cheating? With the number of single men dwindling and single women ballooning what’s wrong with sharing a piece of your pie since there’s so much to go around? Humans are polyamourous by nature right? What’s wrong with letting go of traditional views of relationships and adding to your love nest? EVERYTHING.

Open relationships are not just about sex- A couple who seeks out a third option is usually hopeless at their wit’s end with each other, yet are too afraid to cut off life support of their dead ass relationship. Just like these people cling to each other, so scared to be alone they will cling to you as well. They act as if they’ve inducted you into some secret society of sex and they won’t let you out until they’ve hurt you as much as they’ve hurt each other. Since “everything” is out in the “open” you get to be the scapegoat for this couple’s pre-existing problems! What a neat membership gift NOT! Sure you may get a hot night or even a menage a trois out of the deal but that isn’t worth your sanity. Couples notice every interaction their mate has with other people. If he stares into your eyes one second longer, or laughs at your jokes harder than he does his “boo” you are in for trouble. If you are lucky enough to never meet the Mrs., know that once she goes through his phone and sees evidence of the playful rapport between you and Hugh jealousy will surge through her body like a cocaine rush. So you will probably get to meet her soon enough.

Open relationships aint no picnic

The point of a committed relationship is sacrificing and forsaking all others to give one person total devotion. That is the beauty of what makes a “relationship”. Human nature may compel you to be attracted to other people, this doesn’t mean this is an impulse that is necessary to act on. Choosing to do so not only “opens” a Pandora’s Box of issues and problems, it intensifies them. There is a constant comparison (way worse than Prince vs Michael Jackson, or Lebron vs Kobe) and in any competition there can only be one winner. Anyone who is willing to give their life partner to a virtual stranger is saying more about their own greedy needs than they are their “open” heart. An open relationship is not a factory of free love, but an institution of confusion with very high taxes. Deciding to toss your peace of mind out the window to fill the void in somebody else’s relationship will inevitably lead you tossed out the window once this relationship fully manifests itself. It’s hard to lick your wounds when your used to multiple others licking them for you.